VMAs - What Could Have Been, Beyonce

Ok Beyonce is always awesome, but if she knew her audience she should have put this bitch on stage. I tried to find it on youtube, but it was flagged for adult content? So ridiculous! It's just a fairy in tight clothes! Anyway scroll down to the super skinny girl doing shoulda put a ring on it. I don't think Beyonce would put him on though because that gurl would def upstage her.

luvubitch!

This is why I love Beyonce. Girl is classy to the max. When she got up to accept her video of the year award she called up Taylor Swift to let her have her spot in the limelight and give her acceptance speech that Kanye ruined. How awesome is that! I am so looking forward to Kanye's career taking a dive after this!

VMAs - Lady GaGa

Bitch she crazy! Is what went through my head watching Lady GaGa. Now I am all about performance art, but at the VMAs? I definitely draw the line at blood. What exactly is she saying here? Paparazzi kills people? Fame kills people? That bitch is the biggest paparazzi fame whore on the planet! Why else would she always leave the house sans pants? Unless she has a medical condition where she is allergic to fabric on her thighs I rest my case.

That being said bitch can sing. I love her music, but I hated her case of the Madonnas a couple of months ago when she was constantly walking around with that tea cup mumbling about missing tea time with her mother all while speaking in a british accent. Bitch is from Yonkers, NY!

I thought she did a good job overall, but what the fuck was that red lace outfit she wore after paparazzi? Here is what she entered in. No need to say more.

Btw I have to say right now when Diddy said Kanye's name everyone booed, and started chanting Taylor! Yeah! Hopefully that Gay Fish is dead for good!

luvuCRAZYbitch!

Nevermind everything I said about her, because Lady AMAZINGaGa just dedicated her award to her fucking fans, God, and the GAYS!!!!!!!!!!! One thing is for sure she definitely knows her audience!

VMAs - Green Day

Green Day proved why all performers should perform high. By far the best performance so far! I loved watching the security pee their pants over the out of control crowd on stage. You could see the phrase "lawsuit" in their panicked eyes. Good job Green Day on smoking some pot before your set!

luvuHIGHbitches!

VMAs - Kanye

Watching the VMAs tonight, as if I needed another reason, I hate Kanye. He writes good music, but seriously is there a bigger douche on the planet? Here was Taylor Swift, probably one of the biggest sweethearts in the music industry, and he ruined her big moment! First of all good for Justin Bieber for telling him off later. Does that 15 yr old have some balls or what? And why doesn't MTV issue a permanent security detail from keeping Kanye off stage? He did the same thing to Evanescence when they won best new artist instead of him. One would think MTV would learn their lesson and ban that mouthy bitch from the awards show, or at the very least put him in the last row so people would have time to stop him before he made it to the stage! All I have to say is he isn't really helping those gay rumors by dating this. If you are trying to play it straight Kanye pick a drag queen that doesn't look so manly.

Now I am going to try to keep writing about the VMAs, so I'll have several posts about it. Stay tuned!

Ifuckinghateubitch!.......sorry I just couldn't do it, it's Kanye!

I Think I Was Punked

Now I have been on a lot of interviews in my time, but today was by far the absolute worst interview of anyone's life. I could not possibly believe that anyone has had a worse interview than this, so sit back grab a bottle or two of merlot, maybe a cig or two, and get ready.

Today I had an interview with a local gay interior designer. I thought finally a gay firm! I am golden! Not so much. I can not name names, but the designer/hack was voted off season 1 of Top Design for being an asshole if that helps. So I walked in to the office in what I thought was my posh black designer outfit, with dark paisley tie, and contrasting lime green briefcase. Victoria Beckham would have been proud. I waited for at least twenty minutes for this bitch to get her shit together to meet me. I was given a glass of water upon entry with a cucumber slice in it however. Apparently they moonlight as a club, who knew?

I was finally greeted by the designer, and all I have to say is fatty bald fatty fat fat!!!!! Ok I'm a little bitter, but by the end you will forgive me. In his opening line about himself he told me that he was a high school drop out, and recovering meth addict. Lovely. I'm sorry but the meth thing was a moot point for me. Who cares? What potential employer interviews someone with "Hello I'm a high school drop out and recovering meth addict? As my roommate said that is not a feather in your hat my friend.

Throughout the course of the interview he; brought his staff in front of me and made me make snap judgements on their personality based upon their appearance and then they did the same to me, he harped nonstop on why I was only at one job for 10 months, he asked me who my best friend was and what they would say about me both positive and negative, he made me "sell" him my bag, he laughed at the fact that I went to University of Michigan, he said I was under qualified, and in the end he said that I did not have the right aesthetic to work there. Here is my break down of all that.

1) Making a potential interviewer judge their possible future work colleges based on their appearance to their face does not illicit office camaraderie.

2) The reason I worked at that firm for 10 months was that I moved to another opportunity. A lot of architects bounce around in jobs their first few years. I offered up that I left with an open invitation to come back, but he didn't really care.

3) My best friend? Who cares! Also if it was really my best friend they wouldn't offer up an aspect of my personality that I needed to change, especially (!) while snapping their fingers saying "and, and, and". By the end of that inquisition I thought maybe he really isn't my best friend....

4) Selling him my bag was retarded. I know it was a showroom/office, but what the hell. Yes take my bag it's amazing. I hadn't realized I was on antique roadshow.

5) Laughing at me going to University of Michigan I REALLY didn't get. Yes I know I didn't go to Harvard, but you couldn't even get your GED bitch! What the fuck!? Btw University of Michigan was ranked number 8th in the country for architecture when I went there, I just wanted to throw that out there.

6) Under qualified?! One of his designers was 23, and just graduated from college about a year ago. I mean really?

7) Not saying that I didn't have the right aesthetic translated as "I think you are ugly".

Now my synopsis is that he does not like people to work there that are more educated and talented than him. Everyone in his office is under the age of 25, and he is 42. The ONLY good thing to come out of the meeting was that he, and two of his employees thought I was 23-24, which is never a bad thing.

In the end I just don't understand how a recovering meth head high school drop out is doing so well, and I am begging to work for minimum wage for him? What is wrong with the world? I think I am one interview away from a knife and a hot bath. UGH! Oh well I'll just hope that he drops in to a relapse, and is begging me for change on the corner. Be sure to look for a follow up blog about me running in to him at the bar, and him trying to hit on me. I'm sure it's going to happen.

I can't even say luvubitch on this one, so I will just end the post with.........

IHATEYOUCRACKEDOUTFATBALDOVERTHEHILLNASTYFAGGOT!!!!

Yeah that felt much better!

luvubitch!