I'm an Old Fag

Last night I was out at my favorite Chicago gay bar, which if you want to know is Northend.

I am a sucker for a dive gay sports bar. The gays are more manly than the regular twink filled extravaganza most clubs seem to be. I always feel skinny. I'm on the young end of the clientele. And I get to listen to all types of hot manly conversations, such as "did the Redwings win(?)", which I have to preface actually happened to me once and I had to respond with "I'm sorry but I don't know what that is". Anyway.........

So last night when I was about 5 or 6 or 20 drinks in I asked a friend of mine what their gay song was. You know what one's gay song is. It is that first song you heard at a gay bar that made you run to the dance floor, throw your limp-wristed arms in the air, and scream I love being gay!!! It signifies the turning point in one's gay life when they go from still one foot in the closet, to wearing only painted on clothes and tossing their legs behind their head. Well I know some "straight" guys that do that, but I'm talking about the gays that say "girl this bitch tore up my ass last night!" Yeah I love my people! For those of you who aren't gay, sorry you may not be cool enough for this post.

When my friend let me listen to his gay song on his ipod I couldn't believe what I was hearing! It was all trance/jungle/bass beats. Sure it was "All about the boys", or some shit like that, but there was nothing quintessentially gay about it. Then again my friend has been out for a year (?), so maybe that's what the new gays relate to now a days. It was at this point that I realized I am an old faggot.

True in the gay world being 30 I am essentially dead already, but in gay years I am REALLY old. I came out when I was 17, when most of friends waited until their 20s, so in gay years I am 14 years old! That is like way super old to you like young twink gays like seriously.

MY gay song is "If You Could Read My Mind" from the Studio 54 soundtrack.

Whatever happened to good gay songs like that?!?! When I first started going out we still had awesome legitimately gay only songs. Now it's all remixed crap. Can't the gays listen to anything not remixed five times over? I blame it all on Britney! Grant it I love the bitch, and especially all the crazy, speaking of have you seen this clip? But I think the gays have gotten so used to her over synthesized voice that they think all music should sound like that.

Well fuck this!!! Bring back the fabulous black girls! Bring back the glamorous! Death to Britney, Miley and all those bitches for ruining gay music!

Ugh I am exhausted. I'm going to go pop in some Britney and dance around in my heels and underwear.

Luvubitch!